Fighting for Fulfillment
How MMA and Stoicism Teach Us to Grip the Present
Whatever falls into our possession and knowledge fails to bring satisfaction; we go panting after things unknown and things to come, because the things that are present are never enough. It is not, in my view, that they lack what it takes to satisfy us, but rather that we hold them in an unhealthy, immoderate grip.”- Montaigne, Of a Saying of Caesar
Grip is one of the most important, yet overlooked aspects of mma training. Sure we all want to learn the spinning kicks, or throw elbows in practice, but the smaller movements and details matter so much. Imagine practicing for hours at a certain move to take someone down, you’ve got them on the ground, and locked up somehow, you’re about to finish your opponent and all the hard work has paid off, the end of the fight is in sight….but your grip is weak and suddenly they escape you. But you did everything right….right?
Now imagine flowing through life and wanting to learn new concept after new concept. It’s exciting to move onto the next thing, however, what good is that time spent on learning that concept if you do not hold onto it apply it; if you aren’t able to retain it. The relationships we nurture— what are they if they are not to be grasped and nurtured after all of the work it took to work through them?
Just as Montaigne says, we often chase the next best thing, thinking this will bring us happiness, yet we hold each new thing with an unhealthy, immoderate grip so surely it will slip, leaving us wanting for more, enrolling us into a never ending cycle of unquenchable thirst for the unknown.
So what is missing…?
You Have to Learn Grip.
There is something that many fail to work on while they work through their goals in life. The ability to hold onto what they strive so hard for. Grip transcends ambition.
Very few people are brave and resilient enough to pursue their passions, fewer, hold onto them through gratitude. All of these virtues are learned. That means you have to practice them.
If you have struggled with holding grip up til now, give yourself grace, sometimes we are not taught that this is a practiced technique; this is a muscle we grow. Whether our ambitions be personal goals, relationships or professional milestones, we learn to appreciate not only the achievements, but the effort we have given to achieve it all.
The true essence of success lies in not just the attainment of our desires, but in the ability to protect and nurture what we have earned.
Counter Striking
It is crucial to cultivate an awareness of that which may try to weaken your grip as you progress. Grip is strengthened by:
The Will to Win.
The Will to Survive.
The Will to Thrive.
We must continuously feed ourselves reminders of the importance of losing our grip; —of the reality of how grateful we truly are for our milestones and effort— of the respect for ourselves and our time in cultivating our passions.
We must be proactive in safeguarding our goals from distractions, and prolonged setbacks. Practicing mindfulness and check ins with ourselves can help in countering these while still remaining grounded. It is important to check in when we feel our grip may be slipping. Mindfulness and gratitude practice each day help us in seeing exactly where our energy can be refocused to stay on track. Remember, the journey does not stop at each milestone achieved, but moreover evolves and expands with nurturing.
Grip is not just about possession, but the ability to grasp what matters most while avoiding the distraction of comparison and indecisiveness.
Valuable Insights
Mindfulness -
Practice the awareness of where your desires and passions lie and their purpose; write them down if you have to.
Gratitude-
The practice of observing your present circumstances and remaining grateful in your achievements thus far; remain in the present. Why did you want these things in the first place?
Learn-
The more you fill your days with learning, the less idle your mind will be. An idle mind will go wanting, always in search of a replacement for the lack of progress.